LOSSES

 At the top of my fb page is a section asking "What's on your mind?"

Well today I will take that to heart as what's on my mind and heart.

It's been 72 years and plus.  No it is not my birthday, yet, but when you are my age, we have accumulated many losses.

The house that was & is no more

“When things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place.”

In a recent conversation with a friend as we were discussing how rapid the days were becoming, we laughed as we reminded each other of this quote, “Life is like toilet paper.  As you get to the end of the roll, it rolls faster.”

We hear how tired we are.  

We remind each other of days of crazy adventures.

We remind each other of adventures that   soothe the soul.

We remind each other of family and friends who have travelled with us through losses.  Some of us have been through a lot, together or alone.

The house is gone

The fluidity of life continues with change and with it comes loss.  Some of those losses go unobserved, hidden, forgotten while others are monumental.  They may be crippling or life turns out differently but for the best and to strengthen.  Change in essence is loss.

Imagine this scene:  You're 120 years old, you've just climbed a mountain and given an overview of the land before you, a land that you lost because of extraneous events that were not adhered too.  Can you imagine the heaviness of that loss of not being able to enter into the promised land.

The gate that is no more

Same gate that is no more

So let's stop running past ourselves for a moment and consider some of the layers of losses in our lives with the consideration of not allowing them to temporarily harden our hearts.

Losses are a "big" thing when they happen whether they really are a "big" thing or not, however, as time progresses, it's the "bigger" losses that impact us the most.

A guest in my story

Recalling some of my life losses:

>Losing three babies to miscarriage.

>Loss of my only son.

>Loved ones separated.

>Home away from home.

>Separation from loved ones.

>People are always coming in and out of your life.

>The never knowing when people are gonna coming’s in and out of your life so did not really make many new friendships and establish relationships with them.

>Moving with not much of a notice.

>Not being able to say proper goodbyes was a re occurring event.

>Hidden Loses, and health loses.

>My first experience of loss was leaving the safe environment of my mothers womb were all my needs were met.

>In thinking of loss, death is what usually first comes to mind or permanent separation from God if one has not invited Christ into their hearts.

HELP!  I've fallen & I can't get up.

But what of all the losses along my journey in life?

>Losses hurt.  I struggled as my parents were absorbed in their missionary ministry.

>The loss of leaving family and friends behind.

>Loss of really getting to know grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and other family members.

>Loss of favorite foods, family keepsakes, familiar furniture.  >Smell of flowers, food, familiar places, street markets.  

>The anticipation of the new in many cases that what was left behind was shoved aside.

>Loss of Youth.

Many loses are small we rarely consider them until forced to acknowledge them.

>Loss of patience while care giving.

>Loss of patience with a spouse or child.

>Loss of hair.

>Loss of energy & strength.

Tangible and intangible losses. Losses are endless.  I clung to the fact and promises of God to always be present in my life.

I clung to familiar hymns.  In college during some dark days of losses, I hijacked a practicing music student and coerced them into playing familiar hymns for me in the music practice building.

I clung to other familiar passages of comfort.  And you know what, God attended to my supplication and, yes, I made it through some of the most difficult times in my life. (Ps.86)

“It is the Lord; let Him do what seems good to Him” (1 Samuel 3:18).  

Can you imagine what it must of felt to leave Samuel at the temple and only visit occasionally to provide him with a set of new clothes.  Can you imagine not being able to see your son every day and watch many milestones.

I've been following these two chairs on my neighborhood strolls for several years now.  I often wonder how long til I will no longer see them.  Every once in a while, I see them facing a different direction or moved around this front yard.  Obviously, they are not intended to sit on and have obviously faced loses of use and repurposed for ornamental value.

I have been observing many changes in my neighborhood as I take my morning stroll.  I was disappointed at the loss of one of my favorite houses, I had walked by for so many years.  Yes, gone, the whole house tore down.  I do have the memories in photos I took.

The loses are many and I won't bore you with anymore neighborhood loses.

However, I'm thinking how selfish we are in the losses because we often focus on what we will be missing instead of rejoicing in that they are with Jesus.

Sometimes you just gotta snuggle the loses away.

“THE MEMORIES of what has been lost can surface at any time. A smell, familiar gesture, a movie scene, a song, and even a packing box can bring an onslaught of emotions.”

~Kara Githens 

Your loses really do say something about you.

The Little Things

I opened up my old computer today and clicked on my notes and goodness knows how long this note to myself has stayed dormant.

I have always been enthralled with the changing seasons of life and weather. Perhaps God has ordained such a thing as seasons so as not to overwhelm us. 

(I must confess here that I can not remember if I was the author or someone else of these notes.)

Hopefully it will bless someone as this piece blessed me.

We all go through seasons in our spiritual and physical walk. And sometimes we can't feel much.

Sometimes in those seasons there is no choice but to walk through them.

Processing seasons of medical trauma and otherwise can lend itself to dry seasons but you just got to keep on walking.

I was hearing good preaching and music, as well as reading the Word and praying.

But it felt like nothing was sinking below the surface of my being.

One day I confessed my feelings . “After what we just went through, I feel pain sometimes, and other times, nothing- just…like a flat line,”

The answer soothed my heart, put me at ease, and prepared me for future seasons to come. 

“Just stay faithful.

The Word is doing more than you know.”

And she was right. I think sometimes we forget that the precious words of our loving God are ALIVE.

God is always using His Word to impact and change us when we submit to reading, meditating on it, and listening to it.

 

I love to listen to Scripture being read aloud- it washes over me and brings peace. Anytime we are exposed to the Word, seeds are sown in our heart that will take root and bear fruit.

Lately I’ve found myself doing a lot of listening. Sometimes when I open my mouth to sing, and tears come instead, a sob blocking my sound.

So in those times I will close my eyes, and listen to the swell of song around me from others lifting their voices in song. It sounds amazing. 

It soothes my heart and while I listen, others echo what I cannot sing and carry it upward to our listening God. And it’s ok. I’ve navigated these waters before, and I know that, in time, my song will return. And it will be a song of pure joy, a testament to the healing hand of God.

Enjoy little things

It sounds cliche, doesn’t it? Yet there is an element of healing here. Sometimes the heaviness of life settles in like a head cold that won’t go away. 

It leaves us feeling fuzzy and focusing on big stuff, sometimes to the point that we no longer know how to enjoy and smile at little things. We forget how to laugh and smiling feels fake- almost like a betrayal of our pain.

It takes a slower pace of life and a quiet heart to notice and appreciate the little things of life, and to allow the pleasure of them to linger in spite of a pressing burden. 

Somehow I think it may take a lifetime to hone this art. I believe it has its root in thankfulness- also a lifetime sacrificial work of giving thanks to His name.

When we start looking for the little things, we suddenly start to see them, hear them, smell and taste them. We begin to realize that they are real and good gifts from our Father. This in itself is a gift of His presence with us always.

And that is actually no small thing…it is just often evidenced by small things.

DEAR GOD,~Another day

Dear God,

Another day is ahead, and once again, I want to release my grandchildren, Micah, Chloe, Bethany, Zack, Lily, Chester, Eliza, and Alice, and children, Amy, Hannah, and Sarah who I love so incredibly much, straight into your tender care. Because I know that’s the best place they could ever be. Thank you in advance for all that you have in store, for this day, for this season, and for their entire lives

I ask for your wisdom and direction over their days, that you would give them understanding beyond what their years say they should even know. I ask that you would remind them again of how very much you love them. I pray that they find security and confidence fully in you, knowing that you are trustworthy and true.

I ask for your peace to cover them. I pray for laughter and joy to fill their day. I ask that you would give them boldness and courage to face the challenges set before them, with the confidence and calmness that can only come from your Holy Spirit. AMEN

(Prayer shared from somewhere & edited slightly.)

Alice, Easter 2022

Micah, Chloe, Bethany, Zack
April 2022

Easter Sunday, 2022

HIGH FIVE-ING

A gesture of celebrating the moment.

 You've been introduced and it's time for the ancient ritual, the handshake, but the standard handshake turns into a high five with a smile.

Since 2002, the third Thursday of April is recognized as National High Five Day, however, we celebrate it at most meet-ups.

This act of reaching your arm up high and slapping the palm has revolutionized the greeting and cheering on some miraculous achievement.

Perhaps, we have just done something ordinary.

Perhaps it spreads "good feelings".  It is a greeting requiring no words.

It is not simply a greeting but a way to help loved ones feel wanted and comforted.

It is a gesture of bonding and celebrating the present.

Greeting encourages and welcomes.  It communicates love and concern.  

 

WANDERING & WONDERING

WANDERING & WONDERING

There is something special about walking along someone else's journey because then my journey is better.

Jesus said he would not only live inside us but he will walk with us. He walks alongside us. Meditate on his ever-abiding presence.

"He has told you, O man, what is good;

And what does Yahweh require of you

But to do justice, to love lovingkindness,

And to walk humbly with your God?"

Micah 6:8

DAILY STRENGTH

PSALM 18:28-30 

DAILY STRENGTH 

For You light my lamp;

Yahweh my God illumines my darkness.

For by You I can run upon a troop;

And by my God I can leap over a wall.

As for God, His way is blameless;

The word of Yahweh is tried;

He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him.For You will light my lamp;
The Lord my God will enlighten my darkness.

Sovereign God, please strengthen our caregivers & loved ones as they go through tough things in this life.

"Help them to be strong, able to run against a troop or leap over a wall. Remind them that You are sufficient in all of their weaknesses." ~Unknown

POST CARDS & PRAYERS

POST CARDS & PRAYERS

Dear Lord,

"As this new day dawns, I rise with wonderings of how my day will be.

Will it be good, or will it be filled with struggles that seek to drain my strength?

I call on you to take control of my day and give me discernment to handle whatever comes my way.

Give me peace in knowing that I cannot fix everything.

Provide your words of comfort to me when I am running low on strength. Open my eyes to see all that is good when I can only see the pain and grief.

Close my mouth when I need to just listen and give me words of encouragement to share when it is needed. Provide me relief when I grow tired.

Help me see your plan through all the fog of life.

Remind me that caring for my loved one is a privilege. It is an honor, not a burden. I pray for the restoration of my soul.

I pray for strength to make it through this day. You said not to worry about tomorrow, so I won’t.

Lord, you are the healer, the Great Physician. Heal my heart when it's broken and heal the pain when my loved one hurts.

Always help me remember when I feel alone,

I’m not.

You are always there, going before me to prepare the way." ~Crosswalk devotional

In the name of Jesus, Amen

PUZZLES & PRAYERS

PUZZLES & PRAYERS

"Caregivers are people made in the image of God, like all the people of the world. For that reason and many others, we are to pray for them. 

Prayer is the lifeline for a caregiver and there will be times their burden is so heavy they require someone to pray on their behalf. 

Caregivers often need someone to stand in the gap for them. They get so busy caring for someone else they become isolated and unable to take care of themselves.

In Ezekiel 22:30, the prophet is asking for someone to stand in the gap for Jerusalem. God had found no one. I personally know when I was caring for my mom, I struggled to care for myself. My family saw me dive into a deep depression, stop eating, and want to run away from it all. I did not

feel capable, but so alone. Just like God was looking for someone to stand in the gap and build the wall, caregivers need prayer warriors who will stand in the gap for them." ~Crosswalk, Ashley Hooker

Not only is praying standing in the gap but I would like to think of myself as providing short mini respite gaps. ~rs

MAMACITA~Intro.

WHEN MAMACITA BECAME MY OTHER MOTHER.

I first met these lovely ladies back in...excuse me for reverting to Alzheimerese, "Oh, a long time ago." the standard answer for those who can't remember the exact date. (2015?)

Well anyway back when we were all skinnier and having a ball at an "All girl" luncheon.

What a joy to help another to experience and enjoy life, to find their “happy” place and get relief, if only temporarily. Cause the Lord knows we need those kind of things.