NIGHTMARES IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE #1

Can Caregivers  become their own worst nightmare?
It is understandable that it can appear like they are living  in a twilight zone where the loved one is here but not here. 
As care givers, we can be irrational carers at times and not be here but wanting to be there.  The emotional ups and downs are very, very draining.
Remaining healthy and resilient as we age now takes much more effort and work.

FIRST SELFIE, LAST DAY OF CARE

The reality is that the ability to bounce back quickly from stress and health issues is a memory of the past. We lack the skills to cope with our day to day reality.
  We allow schedules to spiral out of control.
Do we not realize that as time continues, we're not feeling well and we are not managing our day to day times in beneficial ways? 

LAST BIRTHDAY 2010

LAST CHRISTMAS

 Physically we are slower, mentally our brains feel tired and sluggish.  As a result of being distracted and overwhelmed, we have a tendency to make poor decisions.
In my experience and observation, when a care giver gets to this point, it may be the point of the last lap either in your journey or that of your loved one.

LAST BIRTHDAY:  ROOM SERVICE ~  Stone Fire take out, tri-tip, garlic mashed potatoes, carrot cake.

 

It may be the beginning of "lasts".

THAT LAST BIRTHDAY CARD

  It is a time to evaluate the beneficials in your circumstances.
And that IS why I am stepping back from active, paid care giving to pursue enjoyment of perhaps my "last times".  I have had to make conscious effort to say "no" as requests and calls for assistance continue.

LAST DR. VISIT

  My new mantra now is: "The mind says YES, the body says NO."
  Care giving has been so much a part of me that this is one change difficult for me to accept. 

LAST VISIT

From the time you first begin to care give, you are never the same.  You're days run together, life is an endless cycle.

  But remember there is a last time for everything.  That last meal you prepared (Lazy Bean Soup A La Schoof style.) That last assist of a basic need.  That last bed and linen change.

A LAST VISIT~A LAST GOOD BYE

  That last Dr. visit. That last visit. That last leisurely walk.  A last time to say goodbye, a last time to read you're favorite portion of Scripture.

THAT LAST HYMN

  That last hymn and that last breath.  We often don't actively consider a present moment as being last.

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."  Col.3:17

So while it lasts take in those last moments with you're loved one even though it feels like an endless cycle.  
There will be days you will yearn for them. 

THAT LAST DAY OF CARE GIVING & GOOD BYE

  There will be days your memories focus on those last 
days of horrific nightmarish proportions, drowning out the past more peaceful and enjoyable days, those peaceful days stealthily prepare for days to come.(LAST TWILIGHT click here)

Last emotional embrace

One Last long walk with the rollator.

When it's all over you'll be trying to wrap your head around the fact that it really is finally over, having the peace that you did your best, under the circumstances, with the knowledge and wisdom you had at that time.
{{HUGS}}
 TO MY FELLOW CARE GIVER'S WHO ARE STILL ON THE JOURNEY.