When Mission Impossible, MacGyver, and Don Quixote collide, you know you are in the Twilight Zone.
At its core it could be considered a commentary on how care givers cope with the unknown and unpredictable.
How care givers venture into another dimension, inexplicably transported back in time yet being pursued by the present. I think everyone experiences a twilight zone at some point in their lives, however, in care giving it appears to be magnified, each episode presents itself in drama in which the characters, the loved ones, the care givers, and others find themselves dealing with challenging, disturbing or unusual events and experiences as described as entering "the Twilight Zone, featuring a surprising end.
Even in the daily humdrum existence, disturbing flights of fancy and nightmarish drama of sun downing with its anxieties, plot twists threaten to send us into another dimension.
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| "You're traveling through another dimension, dimension not only of sight and sound but mind; a journey into a wonderful land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That's the sign post ahead--your next stop, The Twilight Zone." |
"Walking Distance" is episode five of the anthology series. It originally aired on October 30, 1959, listed as the ninth best episode in history of The Twilight Zone.
Somewhere up the road looking for sanity our loved one just wants to go home.
“‘Walking Distance’ is maybe the show’s best episode. It’s about a businessman. He’s almost 40, he hates his life. He’s miserable.
The stress of work is just getting him down. His car breaks down in the middle-of-nowhere countryside. He goes to the gas station to get his car fixed and he realizes that he grew up very close to where they are. It’s walking distance.
“So he says, ‘I’m just going to take a walk back to the town I grew up in.’
And it’s just this beautiful story of a guy who, as an adult, wants to go back to his young self, and tell himself to be aware of what it is to be alive, to be young, and to enjoy that. And of course, you can never go back and tell yourself that."
It’s a beautiful demonstration of a loved one who finds themselves back in their past, as experienced in The Care Givers Twilight Zone. This being one of the sweeter episodes.
I have always been fascinated by these fantasies and confabulations as they reveal glimpses of past dimentions and glimpses of what is not there.
Mission Impossible by its names implies that care giving can sometimes be impossible and a team is chosen with care. Sifting through applicants or agencies is no small task.
According to the director, the goal of the script was to "constantly surprise the audience." We see the miracle work these characters can pull off in solving those constant surprises. The illusion being spy programs are nothing like real life.
"The term "MacGyver" has now become part of the colloquial American English lexicon. When one "MacGyvers" a solution to a problem, one finds a simple yet elegant solution to something using existing resources."
Care givers are known for there ability to solve a range of problems.
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| Murphy's law says when you put it back on the shelf then you will need it again so why bother. The first aid bin expands. |
Don Quixote,
"Do you see over yonder, friend Sancho, thirty or forty hulking giants? I intend to do battle with them and slay them."
"What giants?" asked Sancho Panza.
"Those you see over there," replied his master, "with their long arms. Some of them have arms well nigh two leagues in length."
"Take care, sir," cried Sancho. "Those over
there are not giants but windmills. Those things that seem to be their
arms are sails which, when they are whirled around by the wind, turn the
millstone."
"Finally finding a place to rest for the night, Sancho falls into deep sleep while Don Quixote remains wakeful, meditating until dawn on his mistress Dulcinea del Toboso, in imitation of what he has read in books of chivalry. Another adventure presents itself the next morning."
"With many adventures, Don Quixote is launched on his career of faith as a knight-errant. Sancho is likewise launched, for if he can withstand the adventure of the windmills and still remain attached to his madman master, he can be loyal throughout even more extravagant adventures."
It really is a fascinating book, perhaps worthy of a second read for the humor.
However, all that put aside, caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's or a related dementia can be challenging and, at times overwhelming. Care giving dimensions can propel us into what is tantamount to a twilight like zone, facing seemingly mission impossibilities , challenging difficulties that require MacGyvers solutions with loved ones like Don Quixote who don't see the world for what it is and their loyal care giver through out the adventures.
If you are a care giver you get it but let me attempt to explain.
My internal clock awakens, My eyes pop open, I attempt to orient myself. Is it Tuesday or Wednesday. I glance at the clock, It’s 6am, I stagger to the kitchen to turn on the coffee.
The loud,
noisy TV disturbs the silence, I so relish, the first nerve of the day shot.
So we have had breakfast, now what?
Then there’s the changes that often leave me scratching my head.
Increasing decline and dependence,
noticing small changes in behavior – struggling to make sense of often irrational thoughts and requests.
Get out more they say but do they
not understand that it takes more time “briefing” them on your loved ones needs and preferences than actually going somewhere.
It simply takes longer to do anything. Taking your loved one out is always a project.
Awkward moments when out in public with your loved one, you are being observed by others who have no clue how difficult it can be just to get there.
It’s amazing how different one night is to another.
You decide to do the shift thing. Well that shifting only lasts half an hour.
One night after a failed attempt to the elusive sleep, one last glance in the monitor sent me into the fifth unbelievable dimension.
I saw a man fighting with his T-shirt that had covered his head, with one arm out and much flailing going on and a head that was trying to stay on a pillow at 11:30pm.
I pulled my already tired body out of bed after seeing how long this little twilight episode would last, throwing the shifting plans aside, I pulled my self up by the strength straps and proceeded to put a stop to this little Don Quixote episode.
I firmly tucked in the covers, well under the mattress, very tightly, like a burrito and turned the A/C on, hoping it would deter him, or at least slow him down, til morning.
I drug myself back to bed, exhausted, til 3am. Never thought that snoring would be music to my ears.
Five falls in 7 days and my MacGyver first aid expanded. My attempts at creating a safer environment failed. It is near an impossible mission to keep a senior 100% safe.
We had many a rough night!
Somewhere between Alaska State Troopers at 3am, I fell into an exhausted sleep until 7:30, awoken by my co-helper "He's On the move!"
I desperately wanted to snuggle closer under the blankets and hide my head under the pillow. I reluctantly drug myself out of bed.
My joy was gone! I desperately searched for it.
Not finding it, my mood was that of a hornet disturbed from the nest.
After dealing with this episode,
I proceeded to my bedroom and indulged in a melt down.
Around here 5 o'clock began the bewitching hour known as Sun Downing. until bed time.
Do you all remember when your kids were little and you gave that sigh of relief when all were in bed and asleep so you could have some time me time and were glad when that season was over?
Well, you grit your teeth and hold in your frustration as your loved one wants his sleeping pills at 5pm and you try to explain and re direct but it aint working.
The "I do it myself" reappears. You turn on all the lights and the magic fairy comes along behind turning them all off.
While your out, the draw sheet transforms into a top sheet, bandages begin appearing in odd places as the white sheets begin to look like an artists canvas and the battle of the sheets vs. the blankets appear over the horizon at 6pm my favorite part of the day "twilight" has disintegrated into a reality drama.
An unclad figure staggers, with an I can do it determination, spiraling steps send him across the room only to recover in the nick of time, landing on the commode across the room. ...and bed time is not here yet. (I am not making this up.)
You let him stew in his Quixote fights with the blankets, hoping that all this activity will tire him out so that he will sleep the rest of the night.
Strange things continued to happen during the bewitching hour.
Emerging from my bedroom one morning, I did a room check, my loved one was calmly laying in bed, although awake.
I wondered had I misinterpreted the "He's On the Move" call.
I found him all huddled up. The queen size, pink floral sheet, I had grabbed in half sleep as a draw sheet was around his neck and shoulders. The pad, the sheets, the blankets appeared to have been in some sort of Quixote battle.
He greeted me with a big smile. He asked "where did all this came from?", referring to the hospital bed and table.
He asked who was paying for all this.
I then said," I'm going to go get your breakfast."
"From the dining room?" he asked.
"What is this place called?" he asked. He is having difficulty remembering that this is my house.
"Who was that lady that came yesterday"? he asked "She was so nice. She is a good Christian lady." referring to Laurie's visit.
Just as in that episode Walking Distance We ended up in 1920's one day after a nap.
He turned to me with a big smile as he was looking around the room, asked if they had shown me the upstairs rooms yet. He asked if his aunt had bought the house with the fruit orchards across the road.
He pointed across the room and said, "Look there is the closet that is filled with Christmas gifts that we are not suppose to know about. And there is the small room, the size of my bed that my father has his study where he keeps his papers. Have you been around the back porch yet to see ..." I guess this is what you call getting into your loved ones world.
Night doth come to soon and two major activities doth visit our nights, "Please Lord, could we just have one night where dis robing does not compete with sleep? Could we have one night without the chucks sneaking out from under their protective purpose?"
You pull yourself out of bed in that dazed, zombie sort of way as you're alerted that there is some activity going on in the next room.
You untangle you're loved ones arms and legs that dangle through the bars of the hospital bed as you grab and struggle finding the tabs on the night wear.
A planned 2:30 am room check and change just aborted. Now what? You're loved one is back to fast asleep with some assurance that all is well, at least for now and I am left wide awake wondering what next.
One guarantee in care giving, no two days are alike, and you just change your mantra to "Oh, Well, Que Sea Sera" What ever will be, will be.
I heard a faint, far away voice beckoning me at 4am. It was difficult determining whether it was coming from a dream I was deeply traveling through or the Beck and Call of the real world in the next room. Determining erroneously, I was still caught in my dream, I chose to ignore and slumbered on.
One of those calls you regret making. Upon heeding a second Beck & Call, at 7am, I found the night wear tossed carelessly over board on the floor, mostly dry, leaving the bed pads soaked & soiled. One sock, those ones that take a struggle to get on and off was hiding deep under the covers while the other one remained on one foot.
Tonight do I put the night wear on backward and have the tabs in the back or grab the Duck Tape?
Sometimes I wonder who's mind is scrambled when you forget to put some water in the commode before use. If it sticketh, it maketh extra work.
...And the eve/night was NOT over!
Does Sun Downer just barge in any ole time? Or is it called something else when 1:15am and 3:45am comes along?
Do meds. collaborate with Loved Ones and come to the conclusion that they will not co-operate during certain hours to test the fortitude, sanity,and servanthood of those attempting to give care?
Found! THAT micro sized pill that supposedly was given at 1:15am. The Bath Lady found it stuck to his shirt. No wonder we had an event full night.
A care giving oxymoron: You get up tired but rested, rested but still tired.
You are sun downing when you are looking for the key to undo the bed rails down and asking to go home.
Well, what I had to deal with "it in the morning" was nothing compared to what I faced at 6am when morning did come one day.
Sparing the details, Mt. Vesuvius erupted. Needless to say, I spent the next hour taking care of ALL the details of that incident before a cup of coffee or any breakfast.
And of course the rail incident of the night before all forgotten. I am talking to myself of course. "Lord, and you are in THIS mess with me and helping me to do this awful clean-up to your glory." "And Joyfully?"
After 10 wash rags, umpteen disposable wipes, ALL bedding and pads and 2 loads of laundry with 2 more to go later, breakfast finally out of the way and it is only 10:30 am..
I was beginning to wonder who around here needed a sedative, me or my Loved Ones, including my husband who was looking for the drain strainer to the bath tub.
Thinking maybe it got thrown in the trash with all the chucks and yucks, it appears that our cat Jack had found it and carried it out of the bathtub and into the living room to play with it. LOL
One night as the three of us were engrossed in a Travel log, my LO began disrobing at 6pm.
Me: "Why are you taking your clothes off?"
LO: "I'm getting ready for bed."
Me: "But it's not time for bed yet."
LO: "But it is for me!" He states emphatically.
Me: "Bed time around here is 8pm."
LO: "says who?" a little irritated
Me: "This is my facility and I set the schedule."
LO: Stops taking off clothes and continues to watch TV with us.
Another day:
LO: "Who else shares this room?
Me: "This is your private room."
LO: "Will I be here tonight?"
Me: "Yes, you're family made arrangements for you to stay here."
LO: "How long do I have to stay here? I have not heard from anybody in the family?"
(Unfortunately, LO does not remember his daughters visit or recent FaceTime with family members. He also does not remember that he has lived here in this same room going on now 3+ yrs.
After taking yet another tumble:
LO: "I have asked God to take me home so many times, I don't know why he has not".
K: (overhearing the comment replied) "God has not finished your mansion yet."
So while the guys are Sun Downing, I'm Sun Upping some dinner, and down loading and up loading laundry in between. I guess that would count as some exercise.
SENIOR SITTERS OR A SENIOR SITTER I sure do appreciate my husband coming along side to sit with LO during some of the sun downing hours watching some of the guy programs on TV.
I like crime and who dun it stuff, Forensic Files, etc. but I can not watch those with LO. The other night I was watching Law & Order and LO scared my half to death when he suddenly in a loud voice shouted, "Get those people out of here.
Call the Cops."
A short time later he asked if I had called the cops.
So I guess I will have to watch Driving Miss Daisy or The Sound of Music or nature stuff. Getting a little tired of the stuff on TBN.
At 6am another day, the house is dark, only the night light lit, my husband rudely awakens me to alert me that LO has been wandering around and was found in the bathroom, apparently disoriented.
Yep, he managed to find the portal to the rails up on the bed without damaging himself, cold yet fully clothed and dry. I am tempted to postpone breakfast, veer slightly from schedule but find my stomach growling.
I turn on the coffee maker, make the decision to change pancake Tuesday to cold cereal Sunday as Sunday was hot cereal and yesterday was scrambled egg Monday with bacon bits,salsa,tortilla morning..... and my night has left me with little energy. Going now for a second cup of coffee.
 |
| Don Quixote & Sancho Panza |
"Finally finding a place to rest for the night, Sancho falls into deep sleep while Don Quixote remains wakeful, meditating until dawn on his mistress Dulcinea del Toboso, in imitation of what he has read in books of chivalry. Another adventure presents itself the next morning."
"With many adventures, Don Quixote is launched on his career of faith as a knight-errant. Sancho is likewise launched, for if he can withstand the adventure of the windmills and still remain attached to his madman master, he can be loyal throughout even more extravagant adventures."
It really is a fascinating book, perhaps worthy of a second read for the humor.
However, all that put aside, caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's or a related dementia can be challenging and, at times overwhelming. Care giving dimensions can propel us into what is tantamount to a twilight like zone, facing seemingly mission impossibilities , challenging difficulties that require MacGyvers solutions with loved ones like Don Quixote who don't see the world for what it is and their loyal care giver through out the adventures.
If you are a care giver you get it but let me attempt to explain.
My internal clock awakens, My eyes pop open, I attempt to orient myself. Is it Tuesday or Wednesday. I glance at the clock, It’s 6am, I stagger to the kitchen to turn on the coffee.
The loud,
noisy TV disturbs the silence, I so relish, the first nerve of the day shot.
So we have had breakfast, now what?
Then there’s the changes that often leave me scratching my head.
Increasing decline and dependence,
noticing small changes in behavior – struggling to make sense of often irrational thoughts and requests.
Get out more they say but do they
not understand that it takes more time “briefing” them on your loved ones needs and preferences than actually going somewhere.
It simply takes longer to do anything. Taking your loved one out is always a project.
Awkward moments when out in public with your loved one, you are being observed by others who have no clue how difficult it can be just to get there.
It’s amazing how different one night is to another.
You decide to do the shift thing. Well that shifting only lasts half an hour.
One night after a failed attempt to the elusive sleep, one last glance in the monitor sent me into the fifth unbelievable dimension.
I saw a man fighting with his T-shirt that had covered his head, with one arm out and much flailing going on and a head that was trying to stay on a pillow at 11:30pm.
I pulled my already tired body out of bed after seeing how long this little twilight episode would last, throwing the shifting plans aside, I pulled my self up by the strength straps and proceeded to put a stop to this little Don Quixote episode.
I firmly tucked in the covers, well under the mattress, very tightly, like a burrito and turned the A/C on, hoping it would deter him, or at least slow him down, til morning.
I drug myself back to bed, exhausted, til 3am. Never thought that snoring would be music to my ears.
Five falls in 7 days and my MacGyver first aid expanded. My attempts at creating a safer environment failed. It is near an impossible mission to keep a senior 100% safe.
We had many a rough night!
Somewhere between Alaska State Troopers at 3am, I fell into an exhausted sleep until 7:30, awoken by my co-helper "He's On the move!"
I desperately wanted to snuggle closer under the blankets and hide my head under the pillow. I reluctantly drug myself out of bed.
My joy was gone! I desperately searched for it.
After dealing with this episode,
I proceeded to my bedroom and indulged in a melt down.
Around here 5 o'clock began the bewitching hour known as Sun Downing. until bed time.
Do you all remember when your kids were little and you gave that sigh of relief when all were in bed and asleep so you could have some time me time and were glad when that season was over?
Well, you grit your teeth and hold in your frustration as your loved one wants his sleeping pills at 5pm and you try to explain and re direct but it aint working.
The "I do it myself" reappears. You turn on all the lights and the magic fairy comes along behind turning them all off.
While your out, the draw sheet transforms into a top sheet, bandages begin appearing in odd places as the white sheets begin to look like an artists canvas and the battle of the sheets vs. the blankets appear over the horizon at 6pm my favorite part of the day "twilight" has disintegrated into a reality drama.
An unclad figure staggers, with an I can do it determination, spiraling steps send him across the room only to recover in the nick of time, landing on the commode across the room. ...and bed time is not here yet. (I am not making this up.)
You let him stew in his Quixote fights with the blankets, hoping that all this activity will tire him out so that he will sleep the rest of the night.
Strange things continued to happen during the bewitching hour.
Emerging from my bedroom one morning, I did a room check, my loved one was calmly laying in bed, although awake.
I wondered had I misinterpreted the "He's On the Move" call.
I found him all huddled up. The queen size, pink floral sheet, I had grabbed in half sleep as a draw sheet was around his neck and shoulders. The pad, the sheets, the blankets appeared to have been in some sort of Quixote battle.
He greeted me with a big smile. He asked "where did all this came from?", referring to the hospital bed and table.
He asked who was paying for all this.
I then said," I'm going to go get your breakfast."
"From the dining room?" he asked.
"What is this place called?" he asked. He is having difficulty remembering that this is my house.
"Who was that lady that came yesterday"? he asked "She was so nice. She is a good Christian lady." referring to Laurie's visit.
Just as in that episode Walking Distance We ended up in 1920's one day after a nap.
He turned to me with a big smile as he was looking around the room, asked if they had shown me the upstairs rooms yet. He asked if his aunt had bought the house with the fruit orchards across the road.
He pointed across the room and said, "Look there is the closet that is filled with Christmas gifts that we are not suppose to know about. And there is the small room, the size of my bed that my father has his study where he keeps his papers. Have you been around the back porch yet to see ..." I guess this is what you call getting into your loved ones world.
Night doth come to soon and two major activities doth visit our nights, "Please Lord, could we just have one night where dis robing does not compete with sleep? Could we have one night without the chucks sneaking out from under their protective purpose?"
 | |||
| In a dazed zombie sort of way. |
You untangle you're loved ones arms and legs that dangle through the bars of the hospital bed as you grab and struggle finding the tabs on the night wear.
A planned 2:30 am room check and change just aborted. Now what? You're loved one is back to fast asleep with some assurance that all is well, at least for now and I am left wide awake wondering what next.
One guarantee in care giving, no two days are alike, and you just change your mantra to "Oh, Well, Que Sea Sera" What ever will be, will be.
 |
| Lo Que Sea Sera |
I heard a faint, far away voice beckoning me at 4am. It was difficult determining whether it was coming from a dream I was deeply traveling through or the Beck and Call of the real world in the next room. Determining erroneously, I was still caught in my dream, I chose to ignore and slumbered on.
One of those calls you regret making. Upon heeding a second Beck & Call, at 7am, I found the night wear tossed carelessly over board on the floor, mostly dry, leaving the bed pads soaked & soiled. One sock, those ones that take a struggle to get on and off was hiding deep under the covers while the other one remained on one foot.
Tonight do I put the night wear on backward and have the tabs in the back or grab the Duck Tape?
 |
| That commode ain't going nowhere, we using zip ties tonight. |
Sometimes I wonder who's mind is scrambled when you forget to put some water in the commode before use. If it sticketh, it maketh extra work.
...And the eve/night was NOT over!
Does Sun Downer just barge in any ole time? Or is it called something else when 1:15am and 3:45am comes along?
Do meds. collaborate with Loved Ones and come to the conclusion that they will not co-operate during certain hours to test the fortitude, sanity,and servanthood of those attempting to give care?
Found! THAT micro sized pill that supposedly was given at 1:15am. The Bath Lady found it stuck to his shirt. No wonder we had an event full night.
A care giving oxymoron: You get up tired but rested, rested but still tired.
You are sun downing when you are looking for the key to undo the bed rails down and asking to go home.
Well, what I had to deal with "it in the morning" was nothing compared to what I faced at 6am when morning did come one day.
One night as the three of us were engrossed in a Travel log, my LO began disrobing at 6pm.
Me: "Why are you taking your clothes off?"
LO: "I'm getting ready for bed."
Me: "But it's not time for bed yet."
LO: "But it is for me!" He states emphatically.
Me: "Bed time around here is 8pm."
LO: "says who?" a little irritated
Me: "This is my facility and I set the schedule."
LO: Stops taking off clothes and continues to watch TV with us.
Another day:
LO: "Who else shares this room?
Me: "This is your private room."
LO: "Will I be here tonight?"
Me: "Yes, you're family made arrangements for you to stay here."
LO: "How long do I have to stay here? I have not heard from anybody in the family?"
(Unfortunately, LO does not remember his daughters visit or recent FaceTime with family members. He also does not remember that he has lived here in this same room going on now 3+ yrs.
After taking yet another tumble:
LO: "I have asked God to take me home so many times, I don't know why he has not".
K: (overhearing the comment replied) "God has not finished your mansion yet."
So while the guys are Sun Downing, I'm Sun Upping some dinner, and down loading and up loading laundry in between. I guess that would count as some exercise.
SENIOR SITTERS OR A SENIOR SITTER I sure do appreciate my husband coming along side to sit with LO during some of the sun downing hours watching some of the guy programs on TV.
I like crime and who dun it stuff, Forensic Files, etc. but I can not watch those with LO. The other night I was watching Law & Order and LO scared my half to death when he suddenly in a loud voice shouted, "Get those people out of here.
Call the Cops."
A short time later he asked if I had called the cops.
So I guess I will have to watch Driving Miss Daisy or The Sound of Music or nature stuff. Getting a little tired of the stuff on TBN.
At 6am another day, the house is dark, only the night light lit, my husband rudely awakens me to alert me that LO has been wandering around and was found in the bathroom, apparently disoriented.
Yep, he managed to find the portal to the rails up on the bed without damaging himself, cold yet fully clothed and dry. I am tempted to postpone breakfast, veer slightly from schedule but find my stomach growling.
I turn on the coffee maker, make the decision to change pancake Tuesday to cold cereal Sunday as Sunday was hot cereal and yesterday was scrambled egg Monday with bacon bits,salsa,tortilla morning..... and my night has left me with little energy. Going now for a second cup of coffee.
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