DEAR DAUGHTER

Dear Daughter,
I am finding the need to say some things to you, my, oldest daughter.

You were the one from whom we learned the most and the one upon whom we tried the most.
 You were the one who became my second pair of hands, the “other mommy,” and even my substitute teacher from time to time.
I will never forget the moment leading up to your arrival.  When I saw you for the first time, I was so filled with overwhelming gratitude, the culmination of a five year wait.  I was 30, and we had waited so long.

1980

  We never made it to the polls that voting day in 1980.
Terrifying? Yes, but it was worth all the madness and magical moment of making me a mother.
The moment you were born, time appeared to stand still.  I just wanted to stare and study each of your features.  You were the epidome of perfection, our little Angel Baby as Annie in the church nursery later referred to you.
It had been a wonderful difficult moment.

June 1980

  Being placed on my chest for the first time was a surreal yet at the moment a weight of responsibility and the absurd thought that I had been so naive to have had a home birth as you were not in a favorable position going through the port.

Going through the agonizing unexpected pain for hours, I thought, I was going to die had it not for the encouragement of the midwife.  Yes, painfully natural. I watched the chiroprator/midwife unfold you and give you a gentle spine adjustment.
A month later we took you to a Dodger game on the fourth of July.  The fire works did not phase you as you gazed up into the sky as you did your first day of life.

Yes, Dear One,
I am sorry for all the mistakes I made along the way.

~ I am sorry that I expected you to be mature beyond your years and asked you to help all the time with the little babies that came along.
~ I am sorry that your academic education was lacking, although I knew you were very intelligent and could accomplish so much. I was too busy having another baby, nursing, and teaching phonics to consider what would be best for you.
~ I am sorry that at times my discipline was too harsh–not so much physically but verbally–as I demanded adult-like behavior from you during your childhood years.

~I am sorry for allowing you to go hungry to bed that one night when you were begging for a snack and you were satisfied with just a slice of bread and some water because you did not eat much for dinner.
~ I am thankful that you own your own faith.

~ I am thankful that God’s Word became precious to you and that you learned its ways and its truths.
~ I am thankful that your were more than the oldest child in our family, ruling over the rest of the children. You loved them and shared with them and gave your life to them and they loved you!  You put up with a brother that was active beyond years.

~ I am thankful that you found the ability to  develop good plans for your own life, including your marriage and your own children.
~ I am thankful that you chose to live your life to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever.
~ I am thankful that you were more than an experiment for your father and me.

You were our blessed firstborn, our joy, our beloved one.
Thank you for being our precious daughter who knows Christ in spite of our errors and misjudgments. Thank you for allowing me the privilege of being your mother.  Thank you for the precious memories I have today because you were part of my life.
"It gives me great joy to find my children walking in the truth..." 
3 John 1:4

–Love Mom

Your Mama

P.S. For those of you parents who may be reading this, please consider whether there is something you should say to your kids before it may be too late. One way or another, death will separate you for a time…if not for eternity.
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