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Wednesday, June 26, 2019

My MIDDLE Little






DEAR MIDDLE DAUGHTER,
Not the oldest.  Not the youngest.
I will have to admit that often you went unappreciated.

A New Sister
All Things Yellow
As a middle daughter, I am aware that you received the short end of the stick, however, you were amazingly resilient.
You were strong and grounded and still are.  You got along with all sorts of people and made friends from all walks of life.
You constantly amazed me with the ability to constantly deal with older siblings who were at times being jerks and a younger one who was sometimes a pain.
You learned easily how to handle situations.  You were the child with pizzaz.  You worked hard to get to get things.

You were just another wanted, another girl, an ultimate gift.
Don’t ever worry for an instant that I did not love you.
You were the beginning of a personality that was totally different than your sisters, completely unique, a daughter to love and cherish.
There was so much about you to love and cherish.  You were different and new besides the fact that you slept away that first month as if to gain momentum for the days to come. 

In the beginning, I nursed you with the same intensity and focus I did with your siblings but you had other plans and weaned yourself early and took to the bottle.
Days tired me out more than before I had you, triple the stress and half the sleep but even on the weariest days, I loved you very much. I was never a perfect mom, despite my efforts but I will always love you.
Nine months before your birth went by like a whirlwind and then the earth-shattering moment you were placed by the mid-wife on my chest.


The excitement and anticipation of the gender reveal was replaced with you, another daughter.  With you, you obliged by arriving a week early so as not to interfere with Halloween.
Before you, I had suffered through the loss of three pregnancies.  Had I not suffered those losses, you would not be here.
  You would have been number six instead of three.
You followed the  ‘perfect first born” and the “strong willed second child”.  You had your squad of cheer leaders and was the life of the party.  Your sunny disposition attracted everyone who crossed your pathway.
The thought that I might not have had you, had I followed the mid-wife’s advice, to stop at two was unthinkable.
You, were the one stuck in the middle seat, extremely independent and the most joyful “little” to be around,
even though you were not coddled and cuddled as much.  The horror on my face, as I looked in the rear view mirror to find you standing in your car seat as we traveled down the freeway with a defient, non compliant attitude forcing us to take the next exit to deal with the situation.  

You got everything a lot earlier than your siblings.  You got your first job along side me in the nursery
Every minute I spend with you is joy.  You in part, helped to heal the losses.

  I am writing this because I want to thank you.  I have been privileged  to walk with you on part of your life journey that has been beautiful, exciting, and challenging.  It was difficult keeping up with your milestones in written form so this will have to suffice.
In spite of annoying everyone with your singing along with all the Disney movies, you had an amazing memory.  Your bed time chatter kept your siblings awake and constant bevy of activity.
Projects made you happy.  “Accidental cuts” in your tights on Sunday during craft time remained a mystery for a time.

Your unique laughter, the sparkle in your eyes and the happiness you radiate are a testimony to your joyful energy and love for God.
You continue to feel your best when interacting with people and life continues to be rich and fulfilling as you share your children with others.
So my darling, Hannah Joy, may the future draw you closer to God as you serve your little family and seek for the things of God.
Love,
Mom

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