ANOTHER SUNDAY

Another early bright sunny Sunday morning.

I sit again in the silence of my car with periodic sounds of car doors and trunks closing.

A slight breeze permeates the air, dancing leaves above in the trees draw my attention.  The Indian Hawthorn at the base is in full bloom.  Scanning the trunk of the tree to the left of me, I spy a letter "J" carved into its trunk.
I close my eyes for a few seconds, drawing in a deep breath treasuring these serene moments before services begin.

I open my eyes, a canary yellow mustang has just entered the parking lot, a beautiful specimen of a car.  Memories call back to an incident from years ago.  My then boy friend thought it would be really cool to give me a stick shift driving lesson in his Mustang on either Baxter or Fargo street.  If you are from LA then you know that these are some of the steepest streets in the city.  Well that did not go well.  I had to relinquish the drivers seat back to him as I had stalled the vehicle.  After that, I never learned the stick shift thing.
The feeling I get at stepping out of my car and strolling through the parking lot never ceases to amaze me.  The warm sense of joy and peace overwhelms me.  I am greeted with smiles and warmth from strangers and those I know. 
The trellis's and the bouganvilla stand like three sentinels on the outside gym wall in full bloom, flourishing and thriving.
From a distance the weather vane makes a dashing impression.

  On what side of life are you living?  Are you walking in the Spirit today?  Is your life pointing in the right direction?  Is your light shining?
Even a venture into the restroom can be an experience as I watch a more experienced Gracer instruct a Newbie on how the magic paper towel dispenser works.  This Gracer went the extra mile and set off all the other dispensers with paper towels ready to go for the next Gracer or stranger.  I thought, "How cool is that!"
I decide to get my coffee wiff fix, rounded the corner,  stopped transfixed.  The line for coffee at the Steeple was somewhat long.  Something, I had never seen at church yet.

My Sunday morning church adventures culminated in a stimulating sermon.  I left with a challenge to keep WALKING in the spirit, Galatians 5:16-26

BENEFITS OF BLOGGING

Many times I have relegated my spiritual journey to the back ground of my life.

  To see more and understand more of God's activity, patterns and directions in my life and perhaps respond in different ways. Journaling and blogging have helped me to think, to notice, and to remember those activities in a more purposely way.

Journaling is one thing but journaling spiritual encounters gives a sense of  meaning of the past and perhaps gain insight, glimpses into the future.

 My story gives me a better understanding of my present time and  ability to glorify God in the present and future requires knowing something of the past.

 Seeing God actively present in my life and developing a sense of noticing those presents, I hope to gain a better understanding of his intent for my life and my relationship with him.  I hope to  keep from being spiritually and mentally lazy.


"...my object in making this Journal is to accustom myself to self-examination, and to give my experience a visible form, so as to leave a stronger impression on the memory, and thus to improve my soul in holiness; for the review of such lasting testimony will serve the double purpose of conviction and consolation." ~ (from THE LIFE AND LETTERS of Henry Martyn, by John Sargent; Banner Of Truth Trust, 1985, pg.29)

Borrowing the words from another author, 
"Another priceless benefit of our pilgrimage is the certainty that the Lord superintends our route, Employing every situation to our eternal spiritual good, and weaving the strands of life to serve his purposes for us."
  So, I am venturing out in hopes of sharing and discovering more of my Spiritual story.  That is why I blog.  I want a permanent reminder of what God has done, giving vent to a heart whose desire is to cultivate the benefits of a relationship with God.
MY ENCOUNTER WITH HUMILITY Click here

MY ENCOUNTER WITH HUMILITY

Humility is a very interesting concept.  It is not cherished and is often mistaken for weakness.

Who wants to admit that they are not the most important.

 “It’s not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” ~C.S.Lewis

It is a conscious effort to NOT think about myself or else I will think about myself. Humility does not come easy, I have to work at it and it does not just happen by osmosis.
Humility is asking God to direct my thinking and asking for help over and over again.

Andrew Murray wrote about this phenomenon in his classic book Humility: The Beauty of Holiness.

“Every Christian virtually passes through these two stages in his pursuit of humility. In the first he fears and flees and seeks deliverance from all that can humble him … He prays for humility, at times very earnestly; but in his secret heart he prays more, if not in word, then in wish, to be kept from the very things that will make him humble.”

Recently, I shared with a friend my tendency toward  anxiety assaults.  She offered me the standard advice, I have received numerous times from various concerned friends.  I seriously doubted whether any really understood what it was like unless they have had any themselves.  The Scripture pills were not working for me.  I wanted to scream, “Been there, done that!
But what I was not aware of was the connection between humility and those attacks.  I can’t cast my cares on him until I have recognized God as God and his role in my life. ( I recall many times our pastor saying something like this: “What is the therefore there for?”)
 
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:6-7)
I am hoping to develop a more humble mindset.




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SUNDAY MORNING

I'm here:
One after another a car pulls into a slot.  The blue sky above is dotted with wisps of clouds as I enjoy a quiet interlude before the services begin.

It looks like it will be another promising day with eager folks anticipating another Sunday morning.
The parking lot appears to be filling up faster than usual as I sit here in my car contemplating and expecting some encouragement.
A man strolls by with a chair pad tucked under his arm and a Bible in another.
As the spaces fill, I can not help but notice how many Taxi's are entering and exiting, around eight, perhaps in the absence of either to notice or not seeing the Access transportation.  The Special Ministry vans await to pick up our LO's, backed into spaces for easy departure for the later service.

LO's waiting for 2nd service

A young mother unfolds a stroller, places a baby in the upper carrier and a young toddler in the lower part.  She checks.  She pauses at the door, rummages around and finally makes her departure.
Meanwhile, someone opens the trunk of their car revealing the snack and donuts, their contribution, to making the morning more enjoyable for someone.
A few minutes later, I leave the quiet of the car to join the rest of the gang, purposely walking by the coffee shop to get a sniff of the coffee.
I join a few in the foyer to await the beginning of the service which is a whole new experience.
I can't help but notice all the young people.  A few friends drop by to chat with me.
Then the unusual began to unfold.  A man made a grand entrance with a dog, by all appearances, an Alaskan malamute, he had found roaming.  He had him by the collar.  Everyone stopped in their tracks with surprise and astonishment, everyone looking at each other with a "What in the heck is going on?" expression.  He was obviously not a seeing eye assistant.
  He was temporarily corralled in the receptionist cubicle until someone from facilities retrieved him to properly take care of the situation.
Sunday has come and gone but the residual remains.  I love my church.


 

SHATTERED DREAMS

“I didn’t want a story—a beginning. Not anymore. I have long ago stopped walking on a road where my dreams walk around. I change my destination a hundred times if I ever see an old wish of mine standing there in its real form. I don’t know them. I don’t want to. They too must not know me. They too must not recognize me as their owner.” ~Khadija Rupa, Unexpressed Feelings


The future was suppose to be different.  Yet there I am, pausing, staring up at the skies in my garden of reveries.

  I wrestle with my feelings. I had no thoughts that the promised dreams would tarry here.
 No one can hear my silent screams as I survey the graveyard left by those shattered dreams, the projects left to another day, the projects left in hopes of completion that never came and never will, the relationships that never materialized. Most of them have said their last goodbyes, evidence of rust, decay, and rejection.

 The blight these bring, where joy and contentment should have been the aim, have no voice but it is far to late to see many of them for their intended purposes or completion.

Understanding people is perhaps one of the hardest things in life.  We are each living in our own personal garden of dreams. 

  Marriage begins with high hopes and expectations and then disappointments.
  I wrestle with my own feelings.  Those unexpressed feelings that are meant to torment.
I give a heavy sigh as I press onward relishing the thought that God's promises and word are not broken dreams.

IF I COULD TIME TRAVEL

Great Grandmother, Emily Elizabeth

If I could time travel, would it be better to visit the past or the future?

 If I could only choose one, I probably would pick the past. 
I would be very interested in visiting the lives of great Christians and experience some of the things that happened back then.
  I would not go back in time with the expectation of changing it but to glimpse how and why they lived their lives the way they did and glean from their spiritual lives so as to improve my present time.

Grandpa Wedgwood

The future will eventually come so why take away the surprise.  What’s the point in knowing what happens to my old me. The future will come whether I want it or not. Knowing the future and then traveling back to the present may present some problems for me.
The past for me sounds more exciting and interesting. I would like to go back and witness the lives of my past generations and events that led them to live godly lives.  Traveling back to the present would allow me to glean from those lives. 

Great Grandma with Grandma Helen

I find myself often wondering about the past but not any of the “what ifs”.  I am pretty content with the way God has orchestrated my life.
Traveling in to the future would no doubt challenge my cognitive abilities and would be overwhelming.
The past is a collection of events that have happened, while the future is unpredictable and not fixed.

Grandpa & Grandma Wedgwood,my mother

Perhaps age is what determines if it is better to time travel to the past or to the future.

“Once our present passes into the past, we no longer have the ability to change it.”
An amusing concept is that if it were possible to travel back in time, we’d probably have visitors from the future.  What would they be gleaning from our lives?
“We can only redeem today and plan to redeem tomorrow, for yesterday is gone!”


“Redeeming the time, because the days are evil” (Eph. 5:16)


Psalm 90:10,12 provides the following instruction: “The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labor and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away. So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom”