A VERY SCARY RIDE

The good doctor had offered us a ride into Mexico City in his car to get supplies to take  back to our remote tribal village. (1960 ish)

His eye is on the sparrow
And I know he watches me.

It started out as another routine trip into the city and I had anticipated yet another trip with my father.  We left my mother and other siblings early in the morning.

 That day we would have taken a truck ride into the nearest larger town and then taken the bus, however, we thought it very fortunate to hitch a ride with the very young intern doctor.  I got so I hated to ride those chicken buses.
Through out the day our travel took us on some incredibly steep and winding roads.  The scenery was spectacular and I sitting in the back seat with my father was totally unaware of it for the most part.
  The Sierra Norte de Puebla, the rainiest in Mexico is an area filled with caves, caverns, and waterfalls which we pretty much left unexplored due to busyness or lack of knowledge that they were there and only known by the locals.
(Googled the area now and I see all the color and places we missed.)
I was excited at the fact that when we got to the city, I would be allowed to choose a comic book or two while Dad chose the Time magazine to catch up on the world news.

The sheer number of mountain roads, paved or not led to many occasions of trusting God for our safety.
On looking back in time, Dad, has often mentioned to me how many times God had protected us through out our lives.
As we continued on our journey that day, we were sailing down a down grade, suddenly out of control on a curve we were ready to plunge off the windy, mountain road, with a ravine below.
Slowly winding and grinding its way up the mountain side one of those crowded chicken buses suddenly appeared at just that moment when it looked like we would go over the edge. 
We slammed into it--broadside, stopping the car from plunging down the mountain side into the ravine below.
The good doctor was more concerned about the legal implications with the other driver than he was with our welfare.
Dad had used his arm to keep me from flying into the front seat and as a result, I bit my tongue quite badly and was bleeding but other than that no one else was hurt.

This Today, but back in the 60's it was just two lane

After a few minutes The doctor was helped to disengage the car from the bus and we were coasting, our way down the mountain side as the car was disabled.
As soon as we reached the bottom, some large doors opened into a large courtyard of either someones hacienda or residence and the car was pushed in, the large doors shut behind us.

1960 ish

We never saw or heard from The Doctor again.
Dad and I took our meager luggage and walked to the bus station.  We took the next bus out to Mexico City.
 God, has protected me far more than I realize when I start reviewing my life and reliving short recalled incidents.  (for future blogs)

UNDER HIS CARE  click here

GROW OLD WITH ME

"Being confident of this very thing, that he who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ" ~Phil.1:6 (Life verse)

 

“Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the first was made. Our times are in his hand who saith, 'A whole I planned, youth shows but half; Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!” ~Robert Browning (Browning (1812–1889) was an English poet and playwright whose mastery of the dramatic monologue made him one of the foremost Victorian poets.)

 

"I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread." ~Ps.37:25 

 ONCE UPON A TIME

  "A person’s days are determined;
    you have decreed the number of his months
    and have set limits he cannot exceed." ~Job 14:5

" Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them. " ~Psalm 139:16

 "Our days may come to seventy years,
    or eighty, if our strength endures;
yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow,
    for they quickly pass, and we fly away." Psalm 90:10

Come!  Grow old with me

A quick reminder that God is the same as yesterday, He is the same today, and will be the same tomorrow.
  I on the other hand am the one that is not the same as yesterday, each day I'm not the same and tomorrow I may be different.

As I look back on my life, the Lord has done a phenomenal job at taking care of me.

I WAS YOUNG!

  Every year close to my birthday month I have been making it a point to take personal inventory of the blessings I have received from God since I was born. 

The main point being that after all these years, God has not abandoned me and has provided what He deemed best for me.  Yes, for me!   The reality is that I am getting old and I cannot escape or run away from it! 

The next few years I will be needing him even more. it’s  impossible to escape the reality of old age and the infirmities that arrive.  I often think that the ills of old age are constant reminders to not get to comfortable in this world and long for Heaven.

It will be God waking me up each morning and starting me on each day.  “He may not come when you want Him, but He’s always on time!” His time to provide.

One positive result that I found quite pleasant in growing older is the fact of not caring so much about what others think of me.  I can do what is important to me. My choices are based on what I can do, or am interested in doing.

Isaiah 46:4

^" Even to your old age I am he,
    and to gray hairs I will carry you.
I have made, and I will bear;
    I will carry and will save."

 Growing older is not a choice I have in life.

  When I was  young, I hardly gave death a  thought. 

The aspects of getting older are difficult.  I am reminded of the reality,I am not as strong as I used to be.  I don't have the energy of youth and some things I used to do, I don't want to do.  There are things I still can do, but take longer.  Over time I have noticed hearing deficits and beginnings of sight decline.

My thoughts sometimes go to other places I wish them not to go.

When I was young, I did not appreciate many aspects of life.  "Youth is wasted on the young." 

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." ~2 Cor.4:16

Spiritual condition health checks are becoming more frequent.

  ^"But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. And I was delivered from the lion’s mouth." ~2 Timothy 4:17

God Is Still Working On Me to Conform to His Image,

  I often recall my girlhood and early adult years and gain perspective how those past difficulties and experiences were also encouraging spiritual influences in my life and how the negative and positive facts of those experiences were used of God to forge on in my life journey.

So here is what I know:

God IS near.  God IS here.  God IS there.  God IS in this moment. God IS present.  I am IN His care. Nothing can separate me from His love. THIS IS WHAT SUSTAINS ME, knowing this.

  Back to Robert Browning's poem on growing old and if you are into poetry and want to see all 32 parts GROW OLD WITH ME:

Ay, note that Potter's wheel,

That metaphor! and feel

Why time spins fast, why passive lies our clay,—

Thou, to whom fools propound,

When the wine makes its round,

"Since life fleets, all is change; the Past gone, seize to-day!"

Fool! All that is, at all,

Lasts ever, past recall;

Earth changes, but thy soul and God stand sure:

What entered into thee,

That was, is, and shall be:

Time's wheel runs back or stops: Potter and clay endure. 

My experience in unpleasant circumstances prepared me for a better job!

 WHOM SHALL I FEAR song

 

 

 

 

 

 


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HAPPY OX`Y`MO`RON MONDAY

Sorry, I can’t help you out right now, I am involved in a  minor crisis, trying to make sense of a clearly insane logical, confused dream that I found myself in last night.  I had no choice but to continue on, going nowhere.

The long and short of it was I desperately wanted the frightening comfort of re-creating the chaotic organization of the calm storm ahead. 
A fine mess I found myself in as I drifted again in a deep sleep.  I found myself in an absolutely unsure of my surroundings, almost ready to escape the confines of that dream.
A cold sweat woke me up briefly as the dark light of the moon sent a shadow streaking through the curtain.  I struggled to wake myself up to re-create the dream.
Good grief, I said to myself, "I am going nowhere".
A quick fix was to give into the insane logic unfolding in peaceful protest in pronounced silence.
With a mean smile, I found myself in the kitchen.
I heard a disturbing noise and set out to investigate.  I smiled as I found the paper towels in their place.  The dull knife was where I last placed it.
A short distance away I came across two little uninvited guests.  In unison, the two little dark chocolate colored twins dressed in unique uniforms of a non discript color, each gave a half giggle then drawing a blank stare, they vanished.

I turned and spied a partially completed project, nearly complete lying in the corner.  It was a fail safe home full of spiders, cat fur, and dust bunnies.  I gingerly took it outdoors to dispose of it stopping briefly to talk to my husband.
I heard another disturbing noise and found another un-invited guest in my living room.  I was pleasantly confused.  He greeted me and introduced himself with a loud whisper and a mean smile.  He sat in a wheelchair with a defiant nod and was going nowhere.  "Go ahead, back up" I said to him.  His demeanor changed to that of a ladies man and was really quite charming for his youth.
Then with eyes wide shut, he disappeared.

I turned my attention to the scene unfolding outside in the front yard.  A dozen or so young people were working outside weeding, mowing my yard and sprucing it up.  A big smile came across my face and I knew I had to get my phone and take some pictures.
I reached the bedroom, I opened the door to retrieve my phone and to my horror, the room was bare, only the bed remained.  My computer was gone.  My phone was gone.  I was devastated.  I fast walked to the other rooms. Everything was gone!  All the activity and uninvited guests had been a distraction so everything could be taken.

Final conclusion, I woke up to find myself into Monday.
HAPPY MONDAY EVERYONE!





"A permanent state of transition is man’s most noble condition. "

Author: Juan Ramon Jimenez

EGG SHELLS & SANITY

On God's love for us: "If there is any one truth I would gladly impress on the mind of a young Christian, it is just this, that God notices the most trivial act, accepts the poorest, most threadbare little service, listens to the coldest, feeblest petition and gathers up with parental fondness all our fragmentary desires and attempts at good works. Oh, if we could only begin to conceive how He loves us, what different creatures we should be!" (p. 61 Elizabeth Prentiss-STEPPING HEAVENWARD)

MY WORLD OF ADJECTIVES:
anger, bitter, chaotic, clingy, complainer, confusing,
  critical,  demeaning, depressive, disorganized, draining,

 drama,  emotional,  erratic, exasperating, explosive, fear-inducing,  frustrating,  impossible,  incomplete,

 inconsistent, irrational, irritable, irritating,  miserable, moody, , perplexing, resentful, sarcastic, seesaw, suffocating, tense, tiresome, train-wreck,  undependable,

 unforgiving, unhappy,  unpredictable, unreasonable, unreliable, untrusting, vengeful,  wound-up.

WELCOME TO MY WORLD!

Every day, I wake up anticipating to having to tread lightly—each day I wake up--  to walk on eggshells ever so carefully  lest I be lashed at.
  It’s the daily adaptations to prevent  painful episodes, to keep the peace and some semblance of order that wearies me.  For forty years! I have been trying to make sense out of this insanity.





Psychology Today describes my everyday world:
 
 "... life where one minute things are ok and the next minute there is an explosive outburst. One minute everything seems fine and the next minute, with the slightest of provocations, there is an acrimonious verbal assault that lasts for hours leaving you, scared, bewildered, disparaged, even questioning your own sanity. These individuals are not just mercurial, they are arbitrary and capricious in how they deal with others and so you never feel like you can relax around them—turmoil seems to always be either around the corner, a small incident, or one misspoken word away. Out of necessity you have to tread lightly, as if on eggshells, just to survive."

“There is no wilderness so dreary but that His love can illuminate it, no desolation so desolate but that He can sweeten it.  I know what I am saying.  It is no delusion.  I believe that the highest, purest happiness is known only to those who have learned Christ in sick-rooms, in poverty, in racking suspense and anxiety, amid hardships, and at the open grave.” (Elizabeth Prentiss)

MORE LOVE TO THEE-ELIZABETH PRENTISS click here for BIO

1. More love to Thee, O Christ, more love to Thee!
   Hear Thou the prayer I make on bended knee;
   This is my earnest plea: More love, O Christ, to Thee;
   More love to Thee, more love to Thee!
2. Once earthly joy I craved, sought peace and rest;
   Now Thee alone I seek, give what is best;
   This all my prayer shall be: More love, O Christ, to Thee;
   More love to Thee, more love to Thee!
3. Let sorrow do its work, come grief or pain;
   Sweet are Thy messengers, sweet their refrain,
   When they can sing with me: More love, O Christ, to Thee;
   More love to Thee, more love to Thee!
4. Then shall my latest breath whisper Thy praise;
   This be the parting cry my heart shall raise;
   This still its prayer shall be: More love, O Christ, to Thee;
   More love to Thee, more love to Thee!

LOUD YET QUIET

“Remember that thought is speech before God.”

— Charles H. Spurgeon

 My book and small Bible with the lunch bag remain in the bigger bag as I make myself comfortable for what would later prove to be a very long day.  Sheer exhaustion almost over whelms me as I slink into a comfortable seat next to two ladies. 
The room is exceptionally quiet yet I am surrounded by total strangers.  I close my eyes at the sheer joy of it and wallow in my thoughts and observations and settle down to people watch.
My shoulders begin to sag and ache as time drags on.  The silence is broken by a ringing phone and then the two ladies next to me begin to chat in some foreign language.  Then silence punctuated by an occasional , cough, or sneeze, laughter floating out from the distance of the lobby.
I debate whether to use the restroom and forfeit my seat or just wait.  I finally give in and lose my seat and search for another one.  Seating is at a premium.

A lady walks past me blurry eyed and slightly unkempt clothes as if just drug out of bed.  Another lady follows dressed in 3-inch heels looking very professional followed by a man in flip flops and shorts.

I settle more into my environment.  My shoulders relax and I continue to enjoy the relative quietness.  I rest my head in my hand  elbow on the chair arm and close my eyes not daring to fall asleep lest I should miss something.
The quietness continues, a sort of peacefulness with a hundred of us strangers each encapsulated by our thoughts or cell phones.  The sight is really quite eerie as many are bent over the electronic devices.  The lady in front of me is intently pouring over a game.
The room resembles a flock of sheep grazing on books, magazines, newspapers, iPhones, and iPads.  So many enamored with their phones and  as if frozen in time.
We continue to wait.  The pace has slowed down.
Then I sense a slight restlessness as chatting increases although in subdued  tones and murmers.
I gaze at the floor to ceiling windows with a view of pines and other trees all in a row, casting shadows on some of the buildings.
In the distance on the flag pole, I see the flags swaying in the slight breeze.
The silence is again broken as a group is called, each by name.
The silence resumes.  My eyes periodically get heavy as the room temperature rises. 
I surprise myself at the many thoughts that have sailed through my mind through out that day during this quiet time of waiting.  I am thankful for all the Scripture I have memorized in my youth.  Not that I have been dragging them out of my mind all day but here and there.
If thoughts could shout they were, loud but silent.

 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. ..."  Phil.4:8