Everybody has a Story: Care Giving part 10

In 2002 my Care Giving emphasis shifted even more, toward home care.  I took a position as a favor for a good friends, good friend.  It proved to be my most humbling, most challenging, most difficult three months of experience I have ever had in Care Giving.                  She was an enigma.  This woman was in her 90's, very petite, some what frail with COPD, with Monk-like tendencies (OCD), and a very strong will, and lived on the 9th floor of Fickett Towers.   She constantly lectured on cleanliness and godliness, followed me around as I worked, constantly offering her expertise.  One day she said to me, "Honestly, Becky, Where did you learn to clean?"                  I spent my days fluffing and plumping up pillows and thick-like down comforters and avoiding her "WHITE SATIN SOFA".   I learned the difference between yams and sweet potatoes and introduced to organic grown foods and how to cook CARE GIVING STEW.  (Stephanie Stew)         One day at not being able to meet her expectations of cleanliness and after three times taking dishes out of the cupboards demanding that I re-wash them, I was reminded of a statement I had heard once, "If you can't please man then try to please The Lord."    So I cried out to God in my frustration, He would answer and she would dismiss me courtly to leave the apt. or do something else.               She would constantly remind me that I was her maid, her housekeeper and her servant.     One day she told me:  "Never hire a missionary to work for you.  They are lazy.  They just sit at their desks on the field and write letters asking for money."    Hmmm, it was one of those days, and there were many that I left work close to tears.                For two weeks, I had to go down 9 floors to use the lobby restrooms, asking for the key each time after we had given her bathroom a thorough cleaning and with a sign posted for me "Off Limits".      My every move in the laundry room, 9 floors down, was augmented by a lecture on the fine arts of laundering or other matters pertaining to being the BEST provider according to her interpretation.   She felt I was incompetent and perhaps did not know that I had been doing laundry for 40 years and had cared for others.            One day after I had furiously cleaning her small apt.,  she commented on HOW TIRED WE WERE because of all the work WE had done.      The ironic thing about all this cleaning was that when I left each day the bottom of my feet were always black.  I was not allowed to wear shoes and often went bare footed.   I was not allowed to sit just anywhere.  I had my own chair that I was expected to use if I had to sit down.       She often told stories and one of them was about her apt. catching fire.    The carpets must not of been cleaned well after that.   Mystery solve to the black feet.            After taking such pains to clean and maintain that bathroom, the maintenance men traipsed through to repair the water heater to much consternation on her part.            One day I had to drag out 3 large carpets that the Tibetan monks had made for her while she was in Nepal.   I vacuumed them and place them around in preparation for some visitors she was expecting the following week.  She shared, how horrifying it was to see the Tibetan children using her curtains and table clothes to wipe their noses on as everyone in Nepal had constant running noses.   The highlights of some of those days were listening to more of those stories and also I often read the Scriptures to her upon request.   We read the whole book of Ephesians, Philipians, Colossians, and other passages.    She frequently referred to the Scriptures as "PRECIOUS AND UNPERISHABLE".            After three months my Saga with Stephanie ended with enormous relief.  I had originally planned to stay 6 months at this position, however, she was making it more difficult by telling me how unhappy she was with me and that she could find someone better and that she already had.   I gave two weeks notice and when that dead line came, she begged me to stay on but I had another position I was to begin at that time.         Her parting words to me were bitter.  She told me that I had marred her character by telling her friends how mean she was to me.  "Becky" she said "You are very proud and proudfull."    A long silence prevailed, I bit my tongue, tears welling up.  I had just devoted 3 months of my life in the most humbling experiences.         I got up, grabbed the trash bags and my belonging,  walked out the door toward the trash chute, shoved it in with vengeance, listened for the faint thump as it landed 9 stories into the dumpster below.   I walked briskly to the elevator, pushed that button for the last time, waited for it to arrive, and down 9 flights, out the door to the car.   With a great sigh of relief and a Praise The Lord shout,  I started the car and headed for home.  I was never so glad to be greeted by my own messy kitchen.                         I was already into my next postion as I had started it the day before this last day at Stephs for a good friend with arthritic disabilities.  My duties consisted of mostly domestic ones and requests for the Care Giving Stew.   Although my work environment was pleasant, I began to have some health issues of my own and had to terminate this job after only 4 months.   I then took a break from senior care giving but devoted more time to the church nursery for awhile.             May 4, 2006, I resumed my care giving journey and began my many adventures with MY LADY (In previous blog some of that story)    As her needs increased due to Alzheimer's, I took leave from the nursery work and was with her for 5 years.   Those 5 years were the most awesome years in all my care giving adventures.     After she passed on, I again resumed working in the church nursery and a part-time position for an agency and for 7 months helped give respite care to an AD challenged Gentleman.   Although I am technically still with the agency, they have found no position for me as of yet.      Then for three weeks, I helped with a very gracious lady who had just had a knee replacement.       When she no longer needed my services, Laurie approached me about seeing if my husband and I could help out with some of Gary's needs which brings me up to the present.