We would log out and endorse to the next care giver. This would be the last transition for the three of us to endorse My Lady to the head Care giver of all, Jesus.
We were gathered together at the hospital in My Lady's room chatting quietly when SHE arrived in the room with an air of sophistication interrupting our chain of conversation.
She sat down next to my co-care givers, asking if there was anything she could do for us, after introducing herself as My Lady's spiritual advisor with the title of Rev.
Sensing the awkwardness of the situation and taken off guard, I began to explain what My Lady's spiritual health was and how thoroughly she had prepared herself for Heaven.
I also explained that we co-care givers were calmly prepared to accept the outcome. Although speaking for myself, I don't think anyone is totally prepared for any chain of events.
The Rev.Spiritual Advisor gave us an incredible look. With a flourish sensing that her spiritual advice was not needed she got up and briskly left the room with a "Well if you need anything, I am available."
She left her card on the table and disappeared. I did not see her again.
My Lady was an awesome, gracious woman, a testimony to her faith. She retained that dignity, composure to the very end, entrusting herself fully to those who care for her in the hospital.
We had some last precious moments to treasure together which are etched in my memory. I am grateful that I chose to stay with her till the end.
The hospital staff were so gracious except for those phlebotimists who continued to want her blood. After one of those blood drawing sessions, I noticed My Lady wince in pain. I then had a discussion with the nurse in charge and she agreed that there was not any need for any diagnostic tests and that I should just tell them to get lost. Yep, I had to tell them to get lost, she was dying and there was no need for more diagnostic test. Someone did not get the memo. They came 3 more times, even 30 min. prior to her last breath.
At around 1:30 am of Tue., I leaned close to My Lady's right ear and sang to her, caressed her face, messaged her shoulders & face.
Her body was very warm and still. Her eyes were very much dilated & mostly closed. She remained very peaceful and in no visible pain. Shortly after this, I drifted off to sleep to the rhythmic sound of the oxygen mask and delivery of air. The mask would rise & fall in tune to her labored breathing but was still strong and steady.
At around 4 am, I awoke suddenly as the rhythmic sound had changed to much slower pace & the oxygen mask was not rising & falling as high. Her breathing had become very shallow. I got up and sat next to her, caressed her face and sang to her again.
My mind went blank at times, struggling to think of the words to all the hymns we used to sing together. I sang JESUS LOVE ME many times, MY SAVIORS LOVE and PRAISE THE SAVIOR.
(It is during times as these one regrets not having a hymn book as well as a Bible in hand) Memories of my grandfather came to mind as I sang, he loved the Lord, and he could sing. After even yet another session of singing, I very closely began a conversation. We talked about Heaven and how those she loved were waiting for her and that she was not needed anymore here. She began to smile several times And I know she knew that Jesus was close and perhaps saw him. Because I can not fully describe that angelic like face soften and then it was like she was gone. Her hands were cold to touch. As I stood up briefly, My Lady had a seizure-like moment (like one struck by a taser gun) 30 sec. later she had another one. The nurse had never witnessed anything like this before. I would like to believe that it was at that moment that My Lady met Jesus even though her heart was strong and still beating she was not getting any oxygen and all other signs of life were gone. I just suddenly felt a deep calm like feeling which can be a strange thing at times for me cause I can become quite excitable.
My only regret was, well it was beyond my control though, would have been if these events would have occurred at home. Yet somehow, I am comforted by the fact that God was in control and orchestrated it all. I just prayed that the nurses and that Rev. had something to think about in relation to their own souls. From my care giving log, May 2011
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