SANITY SAVERS

Welcome to Cultivating Joy!
Who ever you are and why you are here, I am glad you found this spot.
 Sensing several years ago that I needed to pursue JOY and live up to my given middle name, blogging through my life journey became an outlet to reminded me of the many seasons I have traveled through.
A large portion of my life has been care giving. 

Now don't get me wrong, although care giving can lead to many unique blessings. The insanity lies in the  repetition and definition of insanity in that case I would be certifiable each year.

Along the way, I as Dona Quixote, have traveled many miles with the Don. There comes a point when sanity saving measures must be put into place.

Type A caregivers will not agree and they can carry on at will, however, here are my suggestions for sanity savers:

>LOWER YOUR STANDARD
   Clean clothes-bathroom-dishes 
   are priorities.  Everything else is  a
   lick and a promise.

>LOWER EXPECTATIONS
   The ones that are unreal, the 
    demands that don't match your
    circumstances.

>INCREASE FLEXABILITY
   Plans change, Dr's appointments 
   get rescheduled-caregivers or 
   loved ones get sick-caregivers 
   don't show up (big time). 
   Crises arise.

>DECISION FATIGUE IS REAL
  Put decisions on auto pilot when 
  possible.  Extra decision making  for
  two is tiring, admit it.
  Make the best choice possible and 
  repeat it.  Figure out your daily 
  pattern and repeat it.  Set a 
 routine.

>RAISE YOUR SPIRITUAL STANDARDS
   Spending time with God in his 
  Word will alter your perspective.
The most unexpected part of caregiving is the people who are affected by your life, your story.

There is always something extraordinary about someone who chooses to join the journey.
While the world views loved ones as a liability, the right people, the ones God sends view it from a heavenly perspective.

I have relished being a part of many lives in the unique world of caregiving.

SEVENTY & ME 2

Monday hits you.
 

Tuesday follows and out of no-where, it hits you, you love that dude.

You are alone with him.  You are spending more and more time together.
Because I am a sinner and a human loving someone more than myself is difficult.  I find my selfish self dealing with a lot of stuff.  Feelings that shouldn’t be that drown out the truth.
This crazy journey together is well how can I describe it,

indescribable something I attempt to do anyway.
Admit it!  Seventy and me, pain and discomfort are part of life.  Seventy is a stressful job.  Daily frustrations are more magnified.
I strategize toward making it through tough situations that change from one upset to anxious moment after another.
Lingering on the “what ifs” for every possible outcome only contributes to more anxiousness.
My go-to-list is before me, in that thick black book that sits on the night stand in my attempts to celebrate that book daily and to celebrate my amazing accomplishments of the day, the wins that deserve joy and thankfulness.
Another day has passed.  I fall asleep exhausted till suddenly, I am jolted out of an unescapable dream that threatens the very existence of a peaceful night. or sleep escapes.  From my pillow arises the grumbles of my insides.  Oh, the horrors of the mind, the brouhaha with Seventy and me as anxiety threatens, the demands of seasonal thoughts.  The shoulder blades tighten and creep up to the neck as I seek solace in a massage or a quiet pause.

Yes, Seventy and me, we are falling apart.
Why is it so easy to bound out of bed each morning with worldly expectations instead of spiritually minded ones? 
Did I say “bound”?  Well, you get the picture of what bounding might cause or threaten your mobility. The perpetual pressures associated with Seventy and me weigh me down.  Am I shouldering them in my own strength.
LOOK AROUND!

  Birds are a testimony of God’s care and faithfulness for his creation.  And he does it day after day.  It is redundant to think that God doesn’t care about Seventy and Me.  There is nothing outside his vision or control, so Seventy and Me will do fine.

SEVENTY & ME

Living now with an "older adult", with me as one of them, is a stressful challenge.

Oh, the juggling day-to-day tasks is really the easier part.  The main contributor is the emotional part.
The thoughts, the feelings______I find that as part of taking care of this part of life is often writing them down.
It's challenging to THINK and focus thoughts, relegating them to their proper or intended places.  I'd like to think of myself as a wannabe proficient writer.  How extraordinary that I can even think.

Taking time out for early morning walks allow myself to relax and breath, the urban quality air in the common beauties my neighborhood provides.  It is a wonderful ritual to set this time to let my mind flow and rest on the feast of the sights God has provided.

It allows for a release of some of the pent up emotions and sets the tone for a calmer and less stressed out day.
At first glance I miss read "Advertise With Us" with "Adventure With Us".  It amused me as I thought to my self, "Is that what Seventy delivers?"  I am a Boomer!  I am a senior!  Yikes!
I get easily excited just to be alive.
For those of you young ones, get ready.  This is waiting for you.
What do I love about me in the now?

I don't care what others think of me.
My inner beauty is what counts.  I can read all day and stay in my jammies, discount at Denny's, and wearing quirky hats, watching the moon go to bed, and awesome sunsets.  Not to mention shaving my legs so much.  Honky Tonk is the most annoying song.

Past experiences have taught much drama is unecessary and being bolder than before.  Waking up at all hours of the night and not stressing about it.  Seniors,mothers of babies and care givers share that phenomon.

The best thing about Seventy and Me is knowing that life has a purpose and you will come out of it at a level you never knew existed.
You will be left with the profoundness of God's character and attributes, with his fingerprints all over each page, each season of your story.
 

CULTIVATING JOY: THE CROOKED CARE GIVER

CULTIVATING JOY: THE CROOKED CARE GIVER: "In much wisdom is much vexation."  ~Eccl.1:18 The book of Ecclesiastes is a painful book to read.   Arriving at conclusions...

THE CROOKED CARE GIVER

"In much wisdom is much vexation."  ~Eccl.1:18

The book of Ecclesiastes is a painful book to read. 
 Arriving at conclusions about things we do not want to think about and many things we do not want to confront.
The belief that we are lacking vital efforts and knowledge to attain desired results to extend life we attempt to accumulate that knowledge through the internet.
We perhaps are under the false perception that we can alter what God has made crooked.

"Consider what God has done:

Who can straighten
    what he has made crooked?" ~Ecc.7:13

Do we even think of God making things crooked and us thinking that we can alter what he has made?

Have we ever attempted to straighten that which we perceive as crooked only to arrive at its futility and pointlessness?

We become so emotional and less able to process a devasting diagnosis as Alzheimer's?

The belief that we are somehow lacking vital efforts in our straining for our own desired results as if it is our sole purposed to help God extend life one more day.

No amount of wisdom, knowedge, and experience will determine the end. 

"For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow." ~Eccl.1:18

Psalm 139:16

 "Your eyes saw my unformed substance;

in your book were written, every one of them,

the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there was none of them."

So for those of us who are pious and brainwashed, we wrestle with what honestly goes on in our minds as givers of care.  We want to give care on our terms often undermining what you are trying to accomplish.   We often placate our minds by searching for just one more way, one more diet fad, one more essential oil in the quest for longevity instead of more time spent in God's Word .  The more time spent in that Word, the clearer will be your understanding of what to do. The more time you spend with your loved one and relishing in their presence,  
the more you will enjoy that crookedness.

That is the best part of crooked because that is one thing you can straighten.