#2~THE SHAPING OF MY FAITH

Vignette:  I spent my childhood days romping around the mountain filled with pine trees, spaces of winding paths, open windy patches and random spots of neatly hoed corn rows dotting the country side.
 The town center below and the cottage-like-huts with spirals of smoke dotted the mountain side.
 My childhood pleasures were many, though so simple, a little girl today would think it boring.
 I played with dolls, built houses of scrap lumber and branches from trees. I climbed trees, waded in tumultuous brooks and rivers and played briefly in deep quiet pool along the way on trips to visit other villages.
 Many trees and bushes bordered the thin trails we took. My home had none of the modern conveniences that we deem necessary nowadays.

"There is no haphazard in this world. God leads every one of his children by the right way. He knows where and under what influences each particular life will ripen best. One tree grows best in the sheltered valley, another by the water’s edge, another on the bleak mountain-top swept by storms. There is always adaptation in nature. Every tree or plant is found in the locality where the conditions of its growth exist, and does God give more thought to trees and plants than to his own children? He places us amid the circumstances and experiences in which our life will grow and ripen the best. The peculiar discipline to which we are each subjected is the discipline we each need to bring out in us the beauties and graces of true spiritual character."  ~R.J. Miller

I have not composed a blog in awhile and it is about time to pull some thoughts together.
I sense a sort of weariness coming upon me.  Days are coming and going at an alarming rate.  Each day is blending into the next.  The nights are long.  The nights are short.  Each different with their wakefulness, appearances of landing on unrest and worry.  My faith is tested at night.  My sanctification is tested early in the mornings.  My sins of "murmering" and complaining is something to reckon.

I often think about how God has carried and shaped me all these years.

February dawned with a fabulous sun rise.
The hard days of spousing continue.

February 3rd dawned rainy and bleak.  Discouragement steals accross my path and circumstances have a way of coloring my world blue.  There was a rainbow, I was told, but sadly, I missed it.
I found four draft posts that have not crystalized yet.

I hold onto my life journey that is constantly fluid, moving like the bends in my river profile which I am attempting to up date. PROFILE
"The Lord has helped me to this point."(I Samuel 7:12)
In the midst of unmet desires I have to be careful where I let my thoughts go.
  
"My chief end is glorifying God and enjoying Him forever."  So it's a matter of recognizing God's glory as a neural typical spouse.  I am grateful for this priviledge although not always, to my shame.
I've made it through because God carried me.  I often wonder how the future will unfold.
In the wake of the abortion debacle, I am still amazed when God created, his work of art, me, a masterpiece, an original, a heart that God has redeemed.

"You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me."  Ps.139:1

^" I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well."  ~Psalm 139:14

"Does he who fashioned the ear not hear? Does he who formed the eye not see?"  Psalm 94:9

Shame on me if I have let those who are wired differently cloud my way of thinking.  How do I begin to explain what is really going on in life when your world is rocked by new understanding?  Perhaps a little indescribable. The fastest way to get out of feeling crazy is reading the Scriptures. More sweet treasures keep me sane.
 I walk on, trusting, worshipping.
I feel sustained.
I rest in the fact that the Holy Spirit is my helper.  My sanctification rides on the rough times.
God's love remains.

My assurance of salvation rests in, GOD DOES NOT CHANGE.