BROKEN HOPES & DREAMS

SUN FLOWERS & TOMATOES

Sometimes life is not what it hopes to be and some dreams do not come true.
My back yard is a grave yard of "wanna be", "could have beens"  and "could be's".
  Life was young and energetic back in the early 70's.  Youthful ambitions became realities.  We found our what was then our dream home, full of uncluttered and promising dreams.
Denied a loan.  No problem, we paid cash up front.

Corn Patch

The rickety wood fence soon replaced by a block wall.

A piece of the past, original red wood gate

The lemon tree small yet producing, the apricot tree in full bloom with promise of fruit. The neighbors fern creeping to our side. Those first years

Apricot Tree in Bloom

Apricot Tree

 my husband, with energetic youth, worked so hard to get the garden ready many times and set about planting the young seedlings we had nurtured.
One crop of tomato plants grew into a luscious height and looked very promising with many flowers and then tomatoes.
Another, One Year mornings ago,  we went out to inspect our work and to our horror every plant was covered in tomato hornworms and you know when your garden has them!  We tried to get rid of them but they were hard to see.  They look like plant stems and blend in with the foliage. 

There bodies are about 3 inches long and have spots to resemble eyes with a single tail spike, a "horn" at the rear end of their bodies seen hanging upside down all over the plants.
  They made the most horrible clicking/hissing like sound when you tried to touch them or pluck them off.  We did not win that season.  That IS one memory my husband and I recall vividly.

Weeds have a way of adjusting to the garden.  Weed status now is prolific.  Garden dreams came and did not last.  Investment in time became larger and larger as we focused on other pursuits.  Where have my "could be's" gone?

We have one happy camper.  The dog dug a hole so why not fill it with water and make mud.

  I am saddened by the fact that I did not document more of our back yard adventures those first few years. 

The Tree we cut down & the holly bush on left under window

A large tree very close to the house was cut down as well as several holly bushes.  The man who helped us cut that tree fell out of the tree while helping.  Fortunately he was mostly stunned.
 We planted a peach tree in honor of our first born.  It did not do well and eventually died.

The mulberry tree

  The apricot tree gave us years of delicious apricots until its demise several years ago.
  My son nurtured a little mystery seedling tree to replace it.  It remained a mystery until it began producing mulberries.  The thought of raising silk worms crossed my mind.


I pause in the grave yard of broken hopes and dreams, the remains of other projects buried under the tall grass or undergrowth.

Grave Yard of Broken Dreams

The Lemon Tree colliding with the fig tree

The pieces to a patio that was never installed. A promised outdoor clothes line.  I look despairingly over the array of potential recyclables and remains of toys, swing sets and piles of wood that have been sitting for years, a home and refuge to critters and who knows what else.  I regret not bending toward my Tomboy tendencies to wield a hammer, screws, and power tools.  I left it up to the "boys".

The Fern draping over the camellia bush and taking over

  I cringe each time at the thought that each piece bears a story, and carries a little of the past and we were not able to give it up.
The point to sharing this story is not to point out flaws but as a reminder.
One being, that many times our hopes and dreams may be delayed or never come to realities.
These realities and unfulfilled dreams may be faults of our own or not.  Our physical or mental limitations can often hinder or cloud our perceived realities.   Many times this is not understood by others with all their advice.
I do not pretend to know all the answers.
When a minimalist collides with difficulty discarding and because  we are not always on the same page, we have learned to compromise together.

The Chinese Flame tree

Sometimes that is at the sacrifice of giving up hopes and dreams and keeping the peace.  There is only so much one can do.






"Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life." ~Prov. 13:12

Back Yard Dreams