OPEN LETTER TO MYSELF

I was recently going through the pockets of my Bible cover and discovered this open letter to myself dated June 20, 1998 which began as a target to a  specific audience.

It reminded me of some of the difficult issues I was facing during that time in my life that were not so pleasant.


Dear Self;
I am again amazed at the role "patience" should have in my life.
How impatient I can be while waiting for a husband or a child who is taking longer to yield to God or a brother or sister who causes our hearts to break.
I have been impressed with William Barclay's  statement that "Generally speaking the word is not used of patience in the regard to things or events but in regards to people."
How easy it is to get caught up in impatience and anxious attitudes.  After all it is my sinful nature.  Showing patience has been an everyday struggle, yet I am called to "put on a heart of...patience" Col.3:12 and I am "to walk"...with patience"  Eph.4:1,2.
May I learn to use these times to pray, reflect, and plan my response in a godly manner.
Please do not allow your prayers to languish on my behalf!  God IS working in my life.  Please continue to pray that I will make every effort to follow through on what God would have me do.
I hesitate in sharing as to what the Lord is accomplishing yet out of gratefulness toward your prayers, I feel it essential for encouragement.  What a reminder to the awesome power of bringing my requests to God and being granted answers.
I marvel at how unique we all are in our thought process and in our way of handling life's situations yet if we allow sin to settle in our hearts it affects us all in the same way.
When I request prayer, I better be prepared for greater growth!
 I better be prepared for evaluating many visiting issues!  I better be prepared for CHANGE.
I had been so overwhelmed and frustrated by what I could not do instead of what I could do.
Another look at that "Proverbs 31 woman" and I threw my hands in despair "Lord" I said "I am overwhelmed and I can't do this on my own".
God's reminder came again through Ps.46:10, "Be still (QUIET! TIME OUT!, STOP-Striving and KNOW THAT I AM GOD!"
I had to again remind myself "Yes, Lord, you are firmly in control when all else indicates otherwise."

I was alerted to my reluctance in fulfilling some of my responsibilities and reaffirming my commitment to my husband.
Some "first" delights were rekindled, however, there is still the struggle with a tendency to submit to "old ways"--to expect/demand that one function at a more mature level with perhaps capabilities that are not as developed as mine.  Yet should I be expecting more because God's standards are higher?
Yes, I struggle with occasions of discouragement yet God has promised strength, Phil.4:13.
In my effort to fight complacency may I dissolve any appearance of "self-sufficient" attitudes.  The Christian life is not passive!  Yet I struggle with the wanting the "easy way out" if I can find it.
Why does the growth I thought had occured seem to vanish like vapor?
Why do I desire relief from God's discipline instead of seeking to profit from it?
Why do I fail to respond to difficulties in a "God-honoring" way?
PRAY that I would pour my spiritual energies into what is true fruit.
PRAY that I will not become complacent; now is not the time or will it ever be.  May I never have the attitude that "I have arrived" and so feel because of my age that there is NO MORE ROOM FOR GROWTH.
PRAY that I would not lose my sensitivity to what IS sin, to tolerate it or even accept it!
I appreciate you "younger" people because you are an encouragement and a challenge to me to keep on the right path, for your strengths and knowledge of God's Word.  What a responsibility. 
May you continue to show others what God's Word says and how it applies to your situations and issues in life.
I appreciate you even "older" people because of your timely wisdom.
May we all grow in the direction of being more concerned for God's glory.
Becky