FALSE COMFORTS

John 13:7 when he said, “You don’t understand now what I am doing, but someday you will.”

Some things we don’t ever get to know because that is how the Lord works.

SAY WHAT?   FALSE COMFORTS?  COMFORT?

The beauty of childhood is that it connects us to the now.

When you bow down for comfort and direction where do you go?

That first comfort may well be tears

There are moments in life that are impossible to forget.

The words, "move on" and "have more faith" are unintentional words by well meaning friends, a false comfort of sorts.

But the comfort comes from intentional remembering.  It is a privilege and a gift to remember.

Griefs and disappointment, however, do have to move on somewhat, but "...we never simply 'move on'.  Life is too sacred for that.  No matter what anyone may tell you, remembering is an expression of faith when surrendered to God as an act of worship."

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." Matthew 5:4

Spiritual muscles are formed by tears, remembering, mourning.

Remember, God changes the seasons, but the truths remain.

Resentment, anger, unforgiveness, bitterness, blame, regret, worldly vices are poor false comforts that afflict the heart and mind.

The fragments of life, you think are not worth remembering, do have a ways of surfacing by a taste, a photo, a quote, something you see or feel.

In His word He has provided for us all things necessary to be comforted, even in the face of difficulties in this world. 
• His word gives us comfort as does His people. 

In 2014 our only son was snatched into Heaven.

 I had no tears.  The tears came much later.  During this time while I worked in the church nursery, a mother checking her young daughter into my room asked how I was doing.  

As I shared from my heart, her mother who was visiting and listening to our conversation, cried for me.  

I was emotionally touched as I saw tears from her eyes as she listened.  Tears for me.  As I pen or type these words, yes tears now flow easier.  That was a point of comfort for me, not just the shallow words, "I'm sorry for your loss".

BEAR & RABBIT CHAT AGAIN

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"When life gets hard," said Bear, "look to the willow tree."

"Why?" asked Rabbit.

"No matter how harsh the storm, it has learned it's better to bend than to break." said Bear.

©Tara Shannon

***

There have been a few times when I thought I might break. I thought for sure I was going to. When my mom passed, it felt like the very last of what I could manage. It was as if the floor was falling away from beneath me and I was going to be swallowed whole. Part of me hoped for that. A place where time could stand still. Even just for a little while so I could catch my breath. But. Life doesn't work that way.

In the face of great adversity it's essential to give yourself time and permission to grieve, collect your thoughts, process and live in that moment, no matter how uncomfortable it may feel. Running from it doesn't make it better... it simply buys a bit of time before it returns. Ready to be dealt with.

There's no time limit on grief. No limit on figuring out who you are and where you're going.

The world can wait. In fact, it will bend with you as you sit in your silence and slowly make your way forward.

There are still days when I wonder how it is that I have arrived where I am. My steps forward after my experiences with loss, grief and cancer were at many points messy to say the least. Yet, here I am.

There's a willow tree on the site of a place my family used to gather. I visit it at least once a year. It sits at the very edge of a lake known for rough storms. It has survived all of them over its many years. Bending in the storm... but never breaking.

©Tara Shannon, 2020

The Willow Tree

“It’s the perfect combination every time..” said Rabbit.

“What’s that?” asked Bear.

“You, me and a cup of tea.” said Rabbit.

And the two sat quietly, sipping their tea, enjoying each other’s company.

It may have only been for a moment or two but....

it was magic.

©Tara Shannon, 2021p> 

"The world can be very loud." said Rabbit.

"Don't worry." said Bear. "You'll learn how to filter out the noise."

"And then it will be quiet?" asked Rabbit.

"Then you'll be able to hear what matters." said Bear.

©Tara Shannon

"When I see someone being bullied, what should I do?" asked Rabbit.

"Stand next to them." said Bear. "Lend them your voice and your support."

"Won't we both be bullied?" asked Rabbit.

"Maybe." replied Bear. "But others will join you and the more that do the less power the bully will have."

"How do you know?" asked Rabbit.

"Because it only takes one voice on the side of what is right to inspire others to do the same." said Bear.

©Tara Shannon, 2020

"I'm afraid." said Rabbit.

"What are you afraid of?" asked Bear.

"I don't know." replied Rabbit. "I just am."

"Then I will sit with you until you're not afraid anymore." said Bear. "We'll face it together."

"Do you know what's happening over there?" asked Bear.

"It has nothing to do with me." said Rabbit.

"Oh, but it does." said Bear. "What happens over there will be felt everywhere."

©Tara Shannon, 2020

“What’s empathy?” asked Rabbit.

“It’s the ability to meet someone — anyone — at a point in their journey, with understanding.” said Bear... “All the while keeping in mind that we can never really know what it’s like to be someone else.”

"I want to save the world?" said Rabbit.

"The weight of the world is heavy." said Bear. "Start smaller. Start with yourself."

"I don't need to be saved." said Rabbit. "I'm okay."

"Ahh, but that's just it. You're not okay. None of us are." said Bear.

"Not even you?" asked Rabbit.

"No." said Bear. "I have hard days too. And that's okay."

"It is? Why?" asked Rabbit.

"Because when we admit our struggles we can begin to heal. And when we're better, that's when we can begin helping others." said Bear.

©Tara Shannon

“I may no longer be at the beginning of my story, but neither am I at the end.” said Bear. “I’m somewhere in the middle… broken but on the mend.”

©Tara Shannon

ANTIDOTES FOR WEARINESS

A place that refreshes

"You were tired out by the length of your road,

Yet you did not say, ‘It is hopeless.’

You found renewed strength;

Therefore you did not faint. " ~Isaiah 57:10

"Care giving IS wearying!" Carving out places and spaces for refreshment are vital components to lessen that hopeless feeling of reaching the end of those frazzled nerves. May the Lord direct you to those places and spaces of refreshment as He has for me.

Perhaps one of the hardest tasks of caregiving is allowing ourselves to be transparent👀, molded and conformed to God's image. 

Exposed!

 

Our agendas are exposed.

Our pride and arrogance is exposed. 

Our fears are exposed.  

Our selfishness is exposed.

Our weaknesses are exposed.

Our anxieties are exposed.

Our relationship with God is exposed.

Our relationship with others is exposed.

Our desperate need for help is exposed.

Our resentment is exposed.

Our fits and tantrums are exposed.

Our messy housekeeping is exposed.

Remember when

"And Yahweh was going before them in a pillar of cloud by day to guide them on the way, and in a pillar of fire by night to give them light, that they might go by day and by night."  ~ Exodus 13:21

A refreshing message from God "that no matter how much we kick and scream, the knowledge that God has already provided all we need." It is this thought that carves a space of stillness and calmness.

Rest Stop

Look on the bright side, perhaps a gift, we don't normally acknowledge is that sometimes "God does not give us time to think deeply about life-changing decisions. Sometimes He only allows us to respond at the visceral level, where truth and faith abide." Over thinking, perhaps about eventualities and possibilities is "time lost to the pursuit of greater things."

THE ANTIDOTE TO WEARINESS

As weariness whittles away strength, deepen your trust and faith in God. Capture thoughts of God's goodness, faithfulness, and provision.

"I am grateful to Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because He regarded me faithful, putting me into service,"~1 Timothy 1:12 God's intent for us is to praise Him.  May God give us peace knowing that we are touching others lives.  David in his praise to God (Ps.145), constantly mulls over the evidence of what God has done.

Yes caregiving is hard and I know you are tired. You are not a failure.  Go ahead cry.
 We are so prone to seek solutions from people everywhere else before consulting with our Heavenly Father.
THE SECRETSThe secret to my neighborhood walks is that I am absolutely alone.

They take me to the center of God's creations surrounding my home.I challenge you to find what refreshes you.  Sometimes our homes are not places to rest and refresh.

"And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."~2 Corinthians 12:9

There are times when our resources are limited.

Limited by finances and limited by what we can do.

On those difficult days, rest in the greater truth, that God's resources are not limited. We often struggle with the compulsion to want to meet every need and protect. My body, my time, my family, my knowledge, and energy are all limited.

Learn to bask in the beauty of the present.

"But I trust in you, O Lord; I say 'You are my God' My times are in your hands." ~Psalm 32:14-15

Dear gracious Father,

Thank You for not applying a standard of fairness in my life but granting mercy and favor when I do not deserve it.

Help me to realize that I do not serve others out of obligation or desire for a reward or goodness but simply to honor them and to honor You.

Give me the wisdom to know when I must relinquish my care that is better for them.

Help me to let go, and free my heart from false guilt.

Help me to live in freedom, Lord, knowing that You have already prepared the way for the next step for them. ~S. Beach

Perhaps joining a support group will provide a space place for refreshment.

Sketches in Stillness~Collection

 

“Just because it took you longer than others doesn’t mean you failed. Go at your own pace, sing your own song. Don’t let the world rush you.”